How to be confident like Don Draper (Mad Men)

Don Draper's confidence

What can we learn about confidence from Mad Men’s Don Draper?

For many men, Don Draper is the epidemic of confidence.

Enjoy the following video where we analyze in detail the key points that make Don Draper the definition of a confident alpha male.

What most people don’t realize is that confidence comes in two flavors.

External

The external confidence that you project, which can make closing deals, making friends or seducing happen more naturally.

Internal

The internal confidence you feel, how confident you are in any given situation.

How does Don carries himself?

1. His relaxed body language

Don Draper is obviously a good-looking guy, he has nice suits, but it’s his relaxed body language that it’s the most interesting. He almost

She marks her men with her lips. Those narrow piercing eyes keep people captivating and you can do everything easy. A much more difficult element of body language to master is what you don’t do. If you pay attention to Don you will notice that he doesn’t fidget.

2. Don is non-reactive

This is something also found on the James Bond character. It is much harder to fake because our emotions often get the best of us in this high stress situations, and this is one area when lacking confidence can really be a detriment.

You overreact to your own mistakes and end up making things worse. When you can remain non-reactive it shows that you don’t care about what’s going on around you and that makes you come across as more powerful. For instance, watch how Don reacts when two men hit on her wife in Rome, and he calmly role plays as he doesn’t know her.

Contrast that with their insecure overreactions. The sense of comfort and power Don convey simply by not reacting is what you’d expect form him. The same level of low reactivity is very important when you are a leader in times of crisis. Keeping emotional expression in check actually inspires resolve in times of crisis. In addition, simply remaining silent when things are going wrong buys you valuable time to think withotut exposing you as someone who is totally confused and lost.

Don is so good under pressure, not because he is just fast on his feet, that’s actually an illusion. It’s because he slows down enough to think calmly and react in the best way possible. Watch how he responds when a client doesn’t like his pitch, hi gives himself a full 20 seconds to think . Time feels faster when you’re stressed. Most people rush and give themselves only 30% of the time they’d give someone else to respond.

When you are in a stressful situation and it feels like you need to do something right now, pause. You aer almost always better served to take a deep breath and look down.

3. He doesn’t try to convince people.

Being persuasively generally is very different from trying to convince any specific person. Paradoxically, Don Draper makes many of his sales by not badgering clients. He frames himself as an equal partner. This is effective because one of the ways that we determine if we want to associate with anyone is by how much they seem to want and need us. We of course like people that are interested in us, but not too much. Much better is to share your interest but to walk away if it’s not reciprocated. Don is willing to walk away.

4- The belief that he will always be ok.

One of the fastest ways to build any believe is to live it. You show yourself that you are going to be ok by doing exactly the things that you think you wouldn’t be ok if you did.

Video by Charisma on Command / Charisma University

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